mmmx.. went a'studying with lil bear at kap jez now.. yea.. man~ maths is like freakin tough man..

well, saw a lot of jj people? mmmx.. makoto? an blah blah.. but ya.. saw samantha? an turns out that she was meeting zi? mmmx.. i dunno.. like wow? maybe its my fault? that i never made the effort to remain close with sam.. but? i dunno.. feeling that awful thingy again. esp with the memory of last time...

arghx.. an seeing zi didn help? like, seriously, she really didn like make an effort an all? like, i dunno la.. maybe we weren really meant to be great friends.. but, am i hurt? kinda? that she'd rather meet up with samantha than me? esp when i remb that whole incident last time? totally doesnt help.. am i jealous? think so.. to hear her laughing away with samantha.. i hate it really.. totally bugged me.. i should be the one beside sam laughing away? i mean, we'r from the same school for crying out loud.. but seriously.. i hardly ever get to see her? perhaps tis my fault.. like, aiya.. whatever.. everythings my fault la aight!?!?

like, before today? i think back bout our friendship.. zi an i? an all the good things come back? bout how we were "zhi yin"? but seeing her today with sam.. like, all the bad things start floating back? i dunno.. feeling seriously awful now.. its all sucha long time ago.. but.. ugh.. face it edna.. its over.. its ALL over.. ugh.. whatever. dammit la.. whatever.

thank goodness lil bear was with me? i mean, i really wouldn be able to bear (haha~) being there alone.. listening to them laughing away.. ugh.. her laughter.. was always a source of amusement among us? but now, it only served to irk me further.. perhaps the animosity never really went away.. jez very badly covered up? ugh~ damn fed up now.. an i absoluetly hate it that this all is affecting me so~ UGH!!