sighx.. another blow to my already heavy heart..

ju jie jez told me that she'd be applying for this post in some overseas stint? sighx.. an she was like, "the only thing that's holding me back are my cats".. sighx.. is that all? i mean, ya.. i complain all the while bout her an stuffx.. but im the sappy sort that hates it when people go overseas? really really.. even if you are going to like m'sia for like 2 days? i'd be crying when you leave.. an this time, its my sis! an its gonna be minimum 1 year! arghx..

kinda talked to her jez now, was on the verge of crying again while trying to talk her outta it.. then tried again jez now? cried.. ugh.. noooo~ an like.. she did point out that we dun talk much? its true.. i dun deny it? but did she have to be like "anyway, i don't think you'd miss me much if i were to go".. how could she say that? does she really think that i dont care for her at all..? but i do.. i do care.. i care so much..

i know its something she wants to do.. an seriously, if it'l really make her happy to go overseas? i'l really give her my blessings? i dunno.. if it makes her happy.. seriously.. but i dont want her to go.. i really don't.. i DO love her.. i do.. i do..

i really do........