well, im not gonna pretend it aint affecting me at all? yea. i did so wanna talk to you today. but well, you arent even online. or rather, not on icq anyway. but yea. i thought bout things today. i did. i dont blame you. i never did. seriously, this i can swear. i never did. an i never will. you seriously mean way too much to me. i dont think i could imagine you not being part of my life again? just being my friend? that's all.. i dont expect anything. i never did. well yea, not like the last time? it felt horrid. an seriously, i was all ready to msg you an all? but you arent online. so i guess this is the next best thing. well, i wish you wouldn call yourself that? i assume that its about me? but yea. pls dont? you arent. you really arent. its not your fault. at all. it aint. yea.

i dont know what im driving at here. i thought it be easy to blog it out. then pray tell me why im trembling here?

but well, i want to be friends again. i do. you didn want anything to spoil our friendship? but isnt whats happening now precisely what you didn wish to happen? i really did want to msg you. but.. argh.. im just going around in one big circle. argh. i cant seem to collect my thoughts. but yea. but could we just pretend this all didn happen? an yea. just be friends again? really really. sighx. i dont know if you'd even read this. but yea. i just dont know.