i dont know why im getting so bothered. i dont know why its affecting me so much. i dont know why i cant just fucking let go. i dont see why i cant just fucking get a life. i dont understand why this seems to control everything. i dont know why i cant just be happy. i dont know why i dont see why i dont understand why

i hate this i do. im just so fucking irritated with everything and anything. its killing me. i hate it when im like that. but you cant expect me to smile. not now. im sorry if i seem curt. but i serioulsy cant be fucking bothered. im not a laughing doll. my smile is not painted on. i have my moods too..

its just that i wish that my moods are not tied with something so absolutely moronic. maybe its better that he goes. just leave me alone. and let me smile again