how long has it been?

19 years. 18 technically. as in, if you think about it, this is my nineteenth year on the planet. so its only been 18 years so far, as only 18 have passed. anyway. yes. what have i done. wetted a few hundred nappies, cried countless numbers of tears. for what?

14 years. spent in school. ugh. an now, im going back again. *weee* not looking forward to it. i was actually. but now? my confidence is waning. im not sure anymore

9 years. since i developed. into a woman. haha. i was an early developer. got my first crush when i was 5 anyway. so yea. hah.. well, guess i still am growing. in ways more than one..

6 years. for 6 years, band has been in my life. know i haven been back for a while now, feel kinda out. but, band sounds never fail to make me happy again. to make me think back about all the fun times. great memories.

for 3 years now, have been away from SC. mmm.. love that place really. the school that made me the bitchy semi-snobby girl i am. heh. an well, yea.. times in scgs were well spent. met some fabby friends and the first person i truly loved.

1 year. one long year and i still cannot forget

2 weeks now. since i have been sad. it is sooo frustrating. i cant seem to be able to get out of this rut im in. dont really know how to put it. but well, just feel so alone. so lost sometimes. its like i dont have anyone to turn to. no one to talk to. i dont feel comfortable anymore. its like i'v lost everything. everything's become so distant, so detached. feel so lost nowadays.

4 days already. have been since for 4 days. these few days have been horrid. i do not like being ill. feeling weak. and having nothing to do has served no purpose except for me to reflect and to basically think too much. i can feel myself getting bitter, my heart shrivling up.

how long do i have to wait?