gawds. i'm having a blog block.

this is like so pointless already. sheesh. as the days pass.. this fact has become more prominant. how can anyone maintain a facade? doesn't it get tiring?

this is all sucha game. almost everybody who's anybody in my life has access to my blog and as i would like to think, they read it.. that's my way of bridging the gap between us, i suppose.. but look. nobody is ever completely happy with their lives. have you met someone who does not have a single complaint in their life? well, i haven't. an i'm sure as hell not one of them.

well, the problem arises here. our complaints usually stem from the people around us. their actions, their thinking. cuz they don't fit into the mold we want them to, an as a result, we become unhappy. naturally, we look for an outlet. in this case, its the blog.. afterall its a supposed to be a diary of sorts ain't it?

but how can you blog about your unhappiness, which is caused by the people around you.. when these are the people that would be reading your blog eventually? i mean. i really dont see how i would ever rattle my head off, an pour out my innermost feelings when i know that the person in mind would get to read it later.

its just so weird. so not me.

sooo.. how should i blog in such a vague and ambiguous manner.. so that the person i'm actually blogging about wouldn' know at all? but doesn that just become a game already? bah. pretense. the whole world is built on that.

now tell me, what's the point in all this anyway?

well, for your information. yes. i do happen to think i'm in lust with you. yes. i am pissed off with you. and yes. i don't understand why, but i can't get you outta my head. how many people do you think i'm referring to? well, i can safely tell you that your answer is wrong.

think i'm writing about you? well.. you're wrong. think i'm not writing about you? well, you're wrong too. how would you know who i am talking about anyway. it's not like you are me.