and it happened again. dont make yourself sound so victimised. cuz you do it to me too. jez that you have no darn idea. an whose fault may that be? mine again? i dont think so. i can no longer trust you with such stuff, cuz i know you'd jez mock me. in my face! an tell the whole world perhaps? of my weakness? im sorry im not like you. then what can i possibly do but swallow an laugh it off? well it hurts.. it hurts dammit.. it jez damn well hurts. i hate this. this facade. why couldn you have jez accepted me in the first place. it hurts. i jez wanna crawl up an dissappear. to get away from this all. i wanna cry. i wanna scream. but i cant. dammit. this whole charade. its eating me inside. to act as if nothing's wrong!? i cant.

dammit.