mmm. she's really really going? really really? sighx. i really dont know what to say to her also? she's even askin me what i want for christmas an all? an its only october.. sighx. its really happening? now im not really looking forward to my trip? cuz that'd mean less time spent with her? sighx. i dunno. she's supposedly going on the 4th of dec? an that's like freakin soon. sighx. i dont even wanna talk about it to her? like, im just feeling really sucky bout it all? haix. an yea.. seriously, she has been really really nice of late? like.. yea.. but i dont wanna? its just making this all harder for me. sighx. i dont know. but she's really gonna go? nothing i do can change it? unless suddenly her officer decides to not approve it? but ya.. thats the problem.. i dont know if its really really been approved yet? i kinda not wanna ask? i dont dare? i dunno? sighx