does not feel good to have your life's downs slapped on your face. not one bit. now just bloody hell leave me alone. im confused. i dont know what i wanna do. everything is just simply collapsing in my face. fuck it.

i hate this. sometimes i think life is so bleak. is this what i really deserve? i dont dwell on things that much. or at least i think i dont. but look at what life's slapping me with? not a single bit of happiness in my life. seriously. so im working now. so what? im gonna be outta job soon. i wouldn have any money at all. so i bought myself a lot of things. so what? im already bored of them. what the hell am i supposed to do. materialistic yes. but hey. i seem to not have anything else. fuck. i need a drink dammit.

oh but *wee* i'v managed to forget. or so i'd like myself to think.

oh gawds. just wish i could snap outta this whole depression thingo. sucks la. but seriously man. fell in a while back.. an i cant seem to get out. think i shall go sleep on it.